The 5 Year Revival

When I think of the last 5 years, like many, people started to believe they had 3 lifetimes before we are here today.  I would say about the same.

I'm reviving this blog as it was an important outlet for me before my world completely changed.  This blog took me from being a retired performer, not getting my dream job after injury that changed the game and a job that that I love in a world full of hate. And hilariously/depressingly enough, there were men along the way that managed to define me more.  

A little about the fact that I'm anonymous.  I cherish my privacy.  I love my alone time with my own thoughts and I also want people to imagine themselves in my shoes. I can tell you right now, there are so many people on this planet that experience much worse than me... I see this every single day.  I can tell you that I am sassy, somewhat witty and even more funny when I'm drunk.  I'm way too old to get black out drunk but let me tell you, I definitely still try.  I work all hours of the night and work out at ridiculous times in the morning alternatively.  I'm a mixed bag of consistency and understand that it makes no sense at all.  I work too hard but I travel and love to live life more.  I have a broken brain and a dark soul and the medication to prove it all.  I have some solid groups of friends, a ton of acquaintances and lets be honest, they will be the ones to read this epic web of art.  My mom will too and she will be too proud of it for what's about to unfold.  At least I know we are both a little twisted and equally funny. I finally realize where it comes from.   I used to be defined by what I do in my career and also by the love I was given by the male species on this planet that have come across my path. I define myself now with the life I have lived, hopefully use it as a lesson and not a crutch for self-pity... perhaps the reason for the revival of my life lessons on the interwebs.

Now much of these entries will be an absolute joke.  Some of them though will be sad, depressing and for me traumatic and triggering.  Some are vulgar and perhaps unnecessary but fucking hilarious. If you don't like a trucker like dialogue, this might also not be for you. But choose your own adventure really and frankly you may as well come along for the ride.  I didn't live almost 40 years on this earth and not have some lessons to come with it.  And lets be honest, there are WAY more to come.  

I'll be bringing back the classics but most of all, I will start about why this blog disappeared in the first place.  A place of shame, guilt, love, hate, sex, abuse, self worth and a broken heart.