Fate Wasn't Paying Attention

I can't take credit for this one but it sums up the one that changed me. It wasn't supposed to happen, that's not the way it should be... but here we are with a broken brain and a dark soul and it might be all that I will ever be.

I wish I never met you

I don't think there was a good reason behind it

And I think it was an accident,

Like fate got distracted by looking at its phone.

And when it looked back up

We crashed into each other and it was too late.

The damage was done and we had met.

I don't think it was a good lesson

Or that it made me tougher or a better person

I think it just became part of the reason I'm not the same anymore

And the reason I'm so closed off,

The reason I don't trust people the way I used to.

I don't think we were supposed to meet

I think it was a complete misfortune

And sometimes I think about the day it happened

And how that one minor decision could have stopped the whole thing.

One moment could have saved me years

Because if we had never met

I would still be all the good parts of me

And there would be a few less parts that need to be fixed

I would still go for drives

But you wouldn't enter my thoughts like you were robbing a bank

I would still have these friends

But we would not reflect on how warped I was during the years.

You were a part of my life.

And I would have still fallen in love again

And it would've have taken a lot less reassurance

I wouldn't have been shocked that love is so different

Than I had originally thought.

What doesn't make you stronger

Sure but I'd be stronger anyway

and the time I spent around you is to me wasted time.

I wish I never met you.

I wish fate had been paying attention.

It wasn't an accident that was waiting to happen

A calamity, a catastrophe, a mistake.